I’ve never really had too much luck with Father’s Day – it seems to just be a bad luck day for me or something. What I mean is that I always wind up, for one reason or another, somewhat melancholy on this particular day. This year I had the kids in town for about a day and then had to send them off with the grandparents (set 2 of 3) so that I can be able to get to summer school up at UNT. The kids got me a set of jade lions and a glow-in-the-dark Buddha statue – trinkets from the china store, but kinda neat. They also got me a nifty Goorin Bros. Jazzman hat that should come in the mail this week. Cassie came by and gave me a smile and a hug – always a good gift (no sarcasm), and saw the kids before we took off. Best of all was getting to see the kids for a while, read to them again, listen to Izzy act weird and discuss language and music with Kai. Now I’m sitting about the empty house again.
I haven’t written on here in some time, since I started thinking a lot about things and really began to make the deeper changes in life. There’s a lot of it I can’t easily describe and won’t go into – it has a lot to do with figuring out how to learn to live without some of my weaker points that I’m finally getting to the bottom of. All the same, in an empty house everyday it gets a bit hard sometimes. I read a lot, for school or otherwise – I’ve learned probably 20 or 30 new songs recently. Sometimes I go out. I write in this thing I call my “Crazy Book” – it’s a journal sort of thing that I write down all the nasty thoughts that get into my head abotu myself or stuff with Cassie or my finances or life in general, so that I can look it over later, reflect and pick out the relations and triggers and all that. When I have it sitting in front of me after the fact, it really shows just how ridiculous I can get over-analyzing stuff. It’s actually been really positive.
I swapped the Adderall for Vyvanse – this newer amphetamine pill for ADHD that doesn’t kick or crash as hard and, thus far, I’m pretty impressed. We’ll see how it handles the test of school.
I suppose that’s an update. Perhaps I’ll come by here with a rant sometime soon, but my recent life has been humbling to a great degree, I’ve found there is a lot that I thought I really knew that I didn’t know that much about at all, so it’s been a reflective time I suppose. Whether I may be a bit melancholy today, I’m not in a real dark place or anything, I’m just here. Hope all of you are well.
For those of you who are in the area, I’m playing a show on Saturday (June 21st) – opening at Bone Doggie’s Uptown Saturday Night at Banter just off the square here in Denton. I should be on stage from around 8pm until 8:45 or so, after which there will be a lot more good acts and then some blues jamming at the end of the night. I’ve got a hell of a lot of good songs this time, so drop by.
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